Monday, September 20, 2010

Finishing Off the W's Pt.2


A lot of time has gone by since this past winter and as a person I have changed so much. I have had some of the most amazing support from family, the 3/4 best friends since I'm the 4th haha (Rachel, Kaylee, Melanie), Carol, and some of the most amazing support from Mel A.

I never talked to Bernard about what I was going through but he completely changed my life and I think he made me a better and happier person. To this day I still think so highly of him. He's a really amazing person.

I have a better appreciation for my life now.

I'm happy.



With everything I had been going through with relationships, school, work etc. I still had the looming stress of whether I would cut it in University. Was I smart enough to be a business student? Apparently I was. But did University cut it for me? No.

Out of fear of not making it into school I made a list of everything I'd love to do in a year that I might have to take off incase I couldn't get it. This list grew by the day. If I was sad or upset I'd come up with ideas or plans that made me feel happy just by thinking about them. My list is still growing. Before I knew it the list kicked the SHIT out of University.



I have never been so happy. This list began to shape my life and future without me knowing it. Its funny how drastically things changed once I stopped planning my life around money, expectations of others, fears, worries etc. I stopped planning my life. I planned certain hopes, goals and dreams I had for myself and now they are all coming my way. My own expectations of myself are growing bigger now.

Why can't we make our lives our bucket lists?
What are some things you'd like to accomplish, see, do, be, try, learn before you die?
What if the only thing thats holding you back is yourself?

'Why'
My last W


"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. " -Fight Club
There was a point when I lost it all or hated it all. I lost myself in other people (& still do from time to time) and wrapped myself in the hatred of the things I had to do- or so I thought.
But thats not life and thats not living.

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